BREAKING NEWS

George Walton Lucas, Jr., died today at age 66. During an interview at the Electronic Entertainment Expo in L.A. about his involvement in the new title "Star Wars The Old Republic" it was brought to Mr. Lucas' attention that his shoe was untied. In his attempt to look down and tie it, he succumbed to his Jabba Du Neck which quickly suffocated him. He died standing, just like Obi Wan. George Lucas was known for being the owner, and visionary behind the Star Wars franchise. He will be dearly missed . . . despite the terrible atrocities he committed with Episodes one, two and three.